What is self love, really? It is often described as compassion and care towards oneself — yet it remains one of the most misunderstood concepts in modern society.
When you hear the words self-love, your mind probably drifts towards images of spending time with friends, eating your favorite food, taking vacations, or living a comfortable lifestyle. While these things can certainly bring happiness, self-love extends far beyond temporary comfort.
Many of us are capable of loving ourselves deeply, yet somewhere within, we hesitate. We fear being labeled selfish, greedy, arrogant, or self-centered. Because of this fear, we limit the way we love ourselves. We stay stuck.
Instead of giving you a list of ways to practice self-love, I want to tell you a story.
Because if I begin listing methods and techniques, the inner resistance living inside you may immediately argue back. But stories have a way of slipping past our defenses. Stories allow truth to enter quietly.
So put on your imaginary 3D glasses and come with me.
The Story of Grace and Ruby
Let us step into the story of a young girl named Grace.
Grace was seventeen years old, with short hair, thick glasses, and a smile that had earned her the very name she carried. Her parents, Dr. Andrew and Dr. Gigi, had named her Grace because even as a newborn, she carried a smile that seemed filled with gentleness.
Though her parents loved her deeply, they were often consumed by their demanding careers. Most days, Grace spent her time at home with a maid who cared very little for her company.
One afternoon, after returning from school, Grace found an abandoned puppy lying near the roadside.
The puppy was a Belgian Malinois. It was injured, weak, and barely able to move.
Without hesitation, Grace picked up the trembling puppy and rushed it to a veterinary hospital.
After examining the animal, the veterinarians delivered grim news. The puppy had severe mobility issues. Worse still, its heart appeared weak. They doubted it would survive for very long.
Most people would have accepted the diagnosis and moved on.
Grace did not.
She brought the puppy home and named her Ruby.
What Grace Did That Changed Everything
Months passed. What began as sympathy slowly transformed into a bond so deep that Grace could not imagine life without Ruby.
Determined to help her, Grace made it her mission to improve Ruby’s life.
Her first challenge was helping Ruby walk. She spent countless hours researching, learning, experimenting, and training. There were failures, frustrations, and moments when progress seemed impossible.
But she persisted.
Eventually, Ruby began walking normally. The impossible had become possible.
Then came the next challenge — the heart condition.
Grace returned to the veterinarian with Ruby several months later. The doctor was stunned. The puppy he had expected to lose was now a healthy, energetic seven-month-old dog bursting with life.
Ruby ran through the clinic with playful excitement.
For the first time, the doctor truly believed in Grace’s determination. He offered additional guidance, specialized diets, and medications that could further strengthen Ruby’s health.
Grace accepted every piece of advice and continued her efforts. She did not settle for “good enough.” She wanted Ruby to become the strongest version of herself.
She trained her relentlessly. She nurtured her patiently. She believed in her constantly.
What Ruby Became
Years later, Ruby was no longer simply surviving.
She was thriving.
She won multiple dog shows. Her obedience and intelligence surpassed even many professionally trained dogs. Each victory filled Grace with a joy that words cannot fully describe.
Andrew and Gigi often shared their daughter’s story with friends and colleagues. They had witnessed the transformation from the very beginning.
What inspired them most was not Ruby’s success. It was Grace’s love.
Because Grace did not love Ruby by protecting her from every challenge. She loved Ruby by helping her become more than she was.
At first, Ruby resisted training. Like many beings, she did not immediately understand that the discomfort served a purpose. She barked. She resisted. She struggled.
But Grace saw beyond Ruby’s present condition. She saw Ruby’s potential.
She loved her enough to help her evolve.
And that made all the difference.
Now Step Into the Story Yourself
I want you to become both Grace and Ruby.
Be Ruby for a moment.
Look at yourself honestly. Accept your present state without judgment. Acknowledge your weaknesses, fears, habits, wounds, and limitations.
Then become Grace.
Instead of criticizing yourself, begin asking:
“How can I help this person grow?” “What habits need healing?” “What strengths are waiting to be awakened?” “What changes would create a better life?”
Self-Love Is Not Self-Comfort
Most people mistake self-love for self-comfort.
But comfort alone rarely creates growth. A comfort zone may feel safe, but it seldom transforms us.
If your version of self-love only involves giving yourself permission to avoid discomfort, then you may be walking the wrong path.
Real self-love is not about constantly making yourself comfortable.
Real self-love is about wanting the best for yourself.
And sometimes, the best things require effort, discipline, courage, and change.
This is also why toxic relationships persist — when we don’t truly value ourselves, we accept what is familiar rather than what we deserve.
Why We Stop Seeing Our Own Value
Something fascinating happens when you begin viewing yourself as another person. Growth becomes easier.
Imagine advising a friend who struggles with the same problems you face today. You would probably know exactly what to say. You would offer wisdom. You would suggest solutions. You would encourage them to take action.
Yet when it comes to your own life, you often become confused. Why?
Because we take ourselves for granted.
Human beings have a strange tendency to undervalue what already belongs to them. Think about something precious you own today. Remember how carefully you treated it when it was new. Now compare that with how casually you may treat it after years of ownership.
The same thing often happens with ourselves. We stop seeing our own value. We stop investing in our own growth. We stop treating ourselves like someone worth nurturing.
This is often where overthinking takes over — not because we think too much, but because we have stopped believing our own thoughts are worth acting on.
What Self-Love Actually Means
Self-love is not self-indulgence.
Self-love is not self-obsession.
Self-love is recognizing your worth deeply enough that you refuse to remain stagnant.
It is embracing your strengths while courageously transforming your weaknesses. It is becoming both the compassionate caretaker and the soul that is being cared for.
Just like Grace and Ruby.
At the end of the day, we are all part of the same human journey. And perhaps true contentment comes from knowing that we gave ourselves the evolution we deserved.
Not because we hated who we were.
But because we loved ourselves enough to become more.
If you feel that emotional patterns — old wounds, limiting beliefs, or energetic blocks — are preventing you from truly loving yourself, that is exactly where healing begins.
“Self-love is not giving yourself everything you want. It is giving yourself everything you need to become who you are capable of being.” — Maverick Seer
— Jerry, Maverick Seer Hybrid Healer · NLP Practitioner · Energy Healing Expert
Are you ready to give yourself the healing and growth you truly deserve? Through NLP, inner child healing, and energy healing, Jerry helps clients break free from the patterns that keep them stuck — and step into the strongest version of themselves. Book your free 30-minute clarity call →